A Crazy and Overwhelming Start

Last Thursday I met my host family and moved into what will be my home for the next four months. That day, my 21-year-old host sister Sara and host mother Lina picked me up at the school office. Lina’s 24-year-old sister’s fiancée also came along, and the four of us, went out to lunch at a fast-food restaurant that served the national Jordanian dish, Mansaf. The first few hours were terrifying, trying to mentally handle the enormity of my new situation, while trying to make decent conversation (luckily all three spoke decent English) and eating on a nervous stomach. After dropping the fiancée off at his work, we headed to the house, with Lina pointing out important landmarks so I could learn the way and tell future taxi drivers which way to go. We drove southwest out of Amman, until we arrived after about 20 minutes at a beautiful and obviously up-scale neighborhood, where we finally arrived at the house. My host mother led me in and showed me to my room, or rather the room I will be sleeping in. The house has three bedrooms, one for the parents, and two for the ‘kids’. Lina and her husband have five children. After Sara, the oldest son Sultan is 20 and works with his father doing ‘wedding planning’. Then there’s Saif, a 17 year old in his last year in school.  Majd (12) and Ra-had (8) are the two youngest (girls), and sleep in the same room with me. Besides the five children, Lina’s youngest sister, Nour, also lives with the family, although she is currently at home in Hebron, Palestine, and won’t be back for another two weeks. She is a university student in Amman, and is spending her semester break at home. When she is here, Nour sleeps in the same room as me, but the last few days, the two youngest have slept in the other two beds in the room. I do have some closet space and two shelves to put my things, but one of the most defining differences between family life here and the US is the sense of privacy and individual space. Everything about life here is communal, so finding my own place within this family has been an interesting process. Not knowing the family schedule, such as sleeping, eating, and daily activities is awkward, and hard. Even now, there is so much I still don’t understand. Yet, really, my situation is perfect. My host mother is amazingly caring and understanding of my situation. Whereas in Paris, as an au pair, I felt like I was marginalized, here I get the sense that my host mother truly wants to include me in her family and the care that comes along with it. She is incredibly enthusiastic about helping me learn Arabic, and my attempts at learning vocabulary and asking about Jordanian culture make her extremely happy. Although we converse in English now, I know she will push me to speak more and more Arabic, as I get better at it. The rest of the family speaks little to no English, so that motivates me to really learn and speak it, because it is virtually impossible to talk to them otherwise. The two youngest girls are great, and even though it is hard to talk to them, we still find ways to communicate and have fun. Yesterday we threw around a soccer ball, and we make almost daily trips to the tiniest little supermarket a few minutes away.

I’ve had some delicious traditional food here, including ‘malubeh’, a dish of spiced rice, cauliflower and chicken. On Friday morning Lina took me to a local bakery, where you bring your own ‘zeht’ (oil) and ‘zatar’ (classic Jordanian spice mix) and they bake it with flatbread directly for you. We eat A LOT of pita bread, served with various toppings such as cheese, yogurt, eggs, hummus, or foul. Olive oil also seems to be in everything.

 I would say life in general is slightly shifted, with a late breakfast, big lunch, and snacking late at night, but even that changes from day to day. I never know when the family eats, and most of the time it seems everyone eats whenever they want. On Friday we had a big communal meal, but other than that, meals are incredibly varied.

Sleeping schedules also have been difficult. Sharing a room with at least three other people has me only sleeping during the times when everyone else is asleep. The girls are naturally noisy, and as of a few days ago, a 23-year-old Filipino girl, Janie, has moved in as a housemaid, who also sleeps in the room on a mattress. Janie is so nice, and we get along really well. She has a very annoying cell phone though, that keeps beeping at the times I most want to sleep. I really hope that in time I will become less sensitive to light and noise, because so far, I haven’t been getting enough sleep. The family goes to bed incredibly late, and now that it’s Ramadan, they really live during the night and sleep during the day. I don’t know how the two girls manage, since they have to get up at 6:30 to go to school every morning! There are more people in our house than beds, and from what I can tell, the two boys permanently sleep on mattresses in the living room. Even when it’s not Ramadan, they seem to live during the night and sleep during the day, since I see them sprawled out on the floor into the early afternoon.

Every weekday morning (Sunday through Thursday) I walk 15 minutes to meet Suzanne, a fellow SITer, whose family lives relatively close to mine. We then take a taxi together to the school, which is housed in a villa in Abdoun, a very wealthy neighborhood in Amman. There is a kind of commercial area not too far away, with cafes, restaurants, and a few stores. We have Arabic class in the mornings, a break for lunch, and our seminars in the afternoon. I feel like I haven’t seem much of Amman yet, although I’ve been out with friends a couple of times, once along Rainbow Street, the most touristy, western-oriented area here, and once to see the big Roman amphitheater in the center of town. It’s difficult to go out, since I live so far away (at least 20 min by Taxi), and with Ramadan, the best times for me to explore is rush hour where Taxis are scarce and getting anywhere takes twice as long. Also, my host mother is very protective and worried about me taking taxis alone, which is touching, yet does pose some constraints on my activities. I did take a taxi alone without a problem, and I try to ride with Suzanne whenever possible.

These last few days have been a roller coaster of feelings, attitudes, and impressions. I often have moments where I cannot believe I am in Jordan. I fully realize how incredibly lucky I am to be here and what a life-changing experience this is!

I cannot believe how long this blog is, and how little I have really expressed about my feelings, observations, and deeper insights into Jordanian culture and life, and my place within it. I wanted to give an overview, and will try to shorten, yet deepen my entries to focus on the little, but incredibly enlightening and meaningful moments I’ve experienced.